The Number One Reason I Can't Freelance Full-time
Oh the joys, the joys of working from home.
- I can work in my pajamas
- I can stay up and work all night
- I won't need childcare
- I can just clean between client work
Oh the joys...eeerrrrt wrong.
- I do occasionally work in my pjs until 7am
- I don't stay up all night ( I have kids, remember? )
- I can't do quality work without childcare
- Pick one, work or clean, you can't do both (sure I can load a dishwasher, but you get what I mean)
All the great reasons to work from home come down to one word. Flexibility.
<Freelancing has taken me on two vacations this year that I wouldn't have done>
My nurse job doesn't offer that. I am dedicated to one floor for at least 13 hours a day, and that's on a good day. I don't even get to take a walk or enjoy listening to a song. It's not flexible at all.
So, why wouldn't I want out?
The hard truth is,
I am a control freak.
It stems back to my late teenage years. I was pregnant at the ripe age of 19. I always, always, always held two jobs. Why? Because what if one doesn't work out?
Am I afraid to go back into the single mom, scraping for diapers, barely making rent mode?
I have a great savings account and even though it was very rough at times when I wasn't a nurse, we were never homeless or starving, and I blame that on always being prepared.
Recently, I discovered I am a #6 on the Enneagram. What that means is that I have underlying anxiety that things might not go in my favor and I am always thinking of the worse case scenario. And it couldn't be more right.
Ask my camping friends. They call me a "survivor". If you ever get a chance to go camping with me, you won't starve, go thirsty, or be without almost anything you need.
It struck me (today) that I can't ever jump into freelance full time because I have never been without two jobs. My husband does one job just fine and is content with it, but I can't ever be content with that because what if?
This freelance stuff is hard work. I am not going to sugar coat it. You have to want to do it. I love it. It has brought me more time with my kids, husband, and family. I get to use my brain in a different, more creative way.
I also know I won't ever be at my hospital job full-time. I did it for over 10 years full-time, and too many opportunities for change came by way (this being one of them). So, what are my goals?
Well, besides my 2018 goals, my big picture goal is to work 2 12s a week, total. If WriteRN really takes off, then prn I will go. Why won't I now? Let's go back to the word, control freak (haha). Part time (2 12s a week) gives me vacation/pto time. Too many perks to leave it all behind.
My hat tips to all you who have cut the cord on their primary job. It took me a lot of soul searching to find out, I am good with part time, but not overtime.